Tag Archives: Cancer

I’m back!

6 Apr

Well well, I cannot believe it has been nearly 2 years since I last wrote a post! where does time go?  So much has happened and so much has changed since May 2014 that my fingers cannot keep up with it! where to start?

Something happened not long after my past entry…I found out I was pregnant! my intention was always to share it with you, but life got so so so busy that I didn’t find the time. However, I did write a post for Breast Cancer Care which I was meant to re-post it here and I never did. I think that maybe deep down I needed a bit of a break from the blog. Maybe unconsciously I wanted to disassociate my pregnancy from my cancer. So here I am telling you that after having breast cancer I am now mum to a beautiful little girl called Lua. Here she is:

 

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and here a family photo…

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with my husband! yes because in these past two years not only I became a mother I also became a wife!

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and last, but not least, in September I became a Doctor! so mother, wife and Doctor in two years! you will excuse my absence here now I suppose, as you can imagine I have been very very busy!

As I write this happy post the cancer fear lurks in the background.  I can’t help but feel this way from time to time, specially when I think that things are going well. I guess it is part the experience of having had cancer, even years later and after positive results the fear remains. Becoming a mother has in some ways made this fear a bit more present, a bit more intense and a bit more scary. I guess now I feel I have more to lose than ever.

It is my aim to write more regularly, to share with you my feelings in this new chapter in my life. Fingers crossed I can keep up with it!

 

 

 

 

 

Hair growth after chemo is 4 years old today!

13 Jan

On a day like this four years ago I started this blog, aptly titled hair growth after chemo. The aim was to document how hair grows after going bald from the side effects of chemotherapy. It was also a way for me to deal with the obsession that growing THE hair became once my treatment finished. So lets have a look at the pertinent before and after photos.

1 WEEK after chemo my hair looked like this:

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4 YEARS after chemo my hair looks like this:

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Not bad I would say!

Thinking about this post today has made me reflect on what has happened in the last 4 years since I finished treatment and tried to regain some control over my life. So I thought I would do a kind of “the last 4 years in numbers and pictures” type post.

In the past 4 years I have…

Moved cities once: from London to my home town, Barcelona.

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Fallen in love once (maybe twice if we count aby 😉 )

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Moved houses three times

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Been on train rides

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Adopted a muuuuch healthier lifestyle 

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Done my third 10k run (half marathon next?)

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Been to a music festival with lovely friends

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Rescued two cats

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Been busy writing 100,000 words for my PhD (nearly there!)

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Had lots of fun with these two!

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Been to the beach with my girlfriends countless amounts of times

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My little brother and I have gone from looking like this…

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to this… (quite an improvement on both sides, don’t you think?)Image

I have visited London, Morocco, Rio de Janeiro and SevilleImage

And I have had many medical tests, all with good results (fingers crossed)

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And then there are those things that cannot be counted, the amount of times I have laughed, felt happy and on top of the world. And the times I have felt down, anxious and scared. Because the thing with life after cancer, as these photos show, is that you can enjoy it again. However, there is a dark side too, at least for me. The dark side is those times when I get scared that now I’m cancer free, it will come back to snatch it all. And the dark side is most felt when I hear of another life taken away by this illness: from loved ones, to people who have passed through my life, to those who I have only met virtually and those who I have actually never met. This post is dedicated to them. And to all of us who are still here, let’s (try) enjoy life while it is still in our hands. 

 

The Good Life (nearly 3 years after chemo)

12 Dec

So three years ago, this is what I was blogging about: wigs,coping with losing my hair to chemo, celebrating that I just had my fifht round of treatment, my frustration at not being able to do chemo on time and my stay at the hospital due to being neutropenic. You can read it all here.

Three years on and my life (and hair after chemo!) looks quite different that it did then. For one I have moved back home to Barcelona, best decision ever. I have met a wonderful man and a great dog, who are now my family and who make me oh! so very happy. I have an exciting job. I am finishing my PhD. And I am hoping to have children in the future. In short: I like my life.

So while this is great and lovely, it is also terrifying. It appears sometimes that the happier I am the more fearful I become of my cancer coming back. For those who have had cancer, you know how much of a life changing experience it is. Emotionally it wrestles you to the ground, it makes you re-asses your values your priorities and it can often push you to the limit. It brings home how fragile life really is. It confronts you with death. From a practical point of view, don´t even get me started: hospital appointment after hospital appointment after…well you get the point.Your day to day life and routine may also significantly change, being absent from work, not being able to go to the gym or losing (some) of your social life. And the thing i that I love my life and I hate the idea that cancer may come back and take this away from me. Please cancer, stay away.

And this is what I have been up to since my last post in June and what my hair after chemo looks like, nearly 3 years on from treatment. This is why I am happy.

Raoul and I did the anual 10k run in our neighbourhood

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My little brother (yes brother, not nephew) is growing up so fast. He is simply gorgeous.

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I did the women´s race in Barcelona, along with my friend Vicky who makes the cutest plushies and many other things over at Anda Panda. Big fan of her work.

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One of my best mates came to visit over from London. Friends are the best. Particularly Fausto.

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Aby loves being on my lap. And I love her being on my lap. What you call a win-win situation.

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And last but not least, the man and dog who help me through my darkest moments. Meet the family.

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Three years on from cancer

8 Jun

May 6th was 3 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and you know what happened? I completely forgot about it! That day I was flying back from Rio de Janeiro, where I had been working for a week. Before my trip I realized that my flight back was on the day I was diagnosed, which made me think how life changes. Only three years ago I was in a hospital room being told I had cancer. Press the fast forward button and here I am, flying back from Rio and getting on with my life. Funnily enough last year I forgot too.  The strange thing is that I actually think about cancer every day. And my tearful moments often catch me by surprise: I can be running on the treadmill listening to Kanye West sing ”that that don´t kill me can only make me stronger” and then I am transported back to that hospital room, to the chemo suite, and I feel all chokep up. I have had many moments like that.

So, three years on from cancer and this is what my life and my hair post chemo look like:

Selling stuff in a second hand market. Ps. not that my hair is UP! those who have been bald, you know what I mean…

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Flying to Rio…

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Being in Rio…

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Thinking (hard) about my phd

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And having my face licked by my dog!

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And all of this thanks to the two loves of my life: my boyfriend Raoul and our dog Aby. The two most gorgeous and fun creatures on this planet!

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